Create Your Own Terror Propaganda News Headline

by Mike Shea on 16 December 2004

This CNN article has my favorite opening paragraph that I've read since our government decided to try to scare the shit out of us every single day of our lives.

"WASHINGTON (AP) -- Terrorists may seek to down aircraft by shining powerful lasers into cockpits to blind pilots during landing approaches, U.S. officials warned in a bulletin distributed nationwide."

For great fun, modify this headline into your own CNN paranoia headline such as this:

"WASHINGTON (AP) -- Terrorists may seek to down aircraft by throwing great paper bags of dog feces onto cockpits to blind pilots during landing approaches, U.S. officials warned in a bulletin distributed nationwide."

or this

"WASHINGTON (AP) -- Terrorists may seek to down aircraft by throwing Japanese lap pillows onto cockpits to relax and arouse pilots during landing approaches, U.S. officials warned in a bulletin distributed nationwide."

or this, lets just get right down to it:

"WASHINGTON (AP) -- Jerry Falwell may seek to down aircraft by throwing NC-17 rated movies, condoms full of shaving cream, aborted feti, and copies of Grand Theft Auto San Andraes onto cockpits to free pilots from sin during landing approaches, U.S. officials warned in a bulletin distributed nationwide."

Write your own!

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